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All Deviations


The X46 turned sharply into the massive carpark at Hampton shopping centre, its rainwashed tarmac reflected the dusky purple sky and yellow lights. From the frontmost seat of the upper tier of the old doubledecker Heath looked lazily past the raincoated windscreen at an expanse of car roofs and bonnets. A few seats back two chavs clad in virgin white and baby blue lit a spliff. He could smell it, he craved it, though he daren't so much as look back. Instead he looked at the remains of a peeled no-smoking sticker above, and then at a drying pool of something, probably piss, which had run backward under the seats. The chavs were sniggering.
  The bus pulled noisily into the second of three bays which ran along the dividing centre of the carpark. Heath leaned over nosily to see if he knew anybody getting on. Nope. Just a couple thirteen year old girls with bleached hair and hooped earrings putting out their cigarettes, and a miserable middle aged woman carrying twice her weight in shopping bags. He relaxed back into his seat and listened to them buying their tickets. All Peterbrough, same as himself. There was stomping and giggling as the girls marched the steep stairs, squarking among themselves. Heath closed his eyes and grunted quietly. "y'ite girls?" he heard one of the chavs say. The girls laughed like hyenas.
  "Yeeh, fuck off mate!"
  "Ang on e's got weed innit, give us sumathat yeh?"
  "Fuckin! Nah man."
  Desperate for anything to divert his attention from the irritating passangers behind, he turned it to the play of light on the drying piss as the bus lurched out of the bay. It was quickly getting dark, and the rain was pourring so hard that all he could see through the window were the red backlights of cars infront, queueing to leave the carpark. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. "Twenny minutes to go." and then, "Fuckin chavs."
©2006-2008 ~BerkshireHunt
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Submitted: January 25, 2006
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Author's Comments

Felt like writing something that wasn't fantasy, and thought about my experiences. This is a tiny bit of prose, only 300 or so words. Just having a go. Your opinions are valued. Might develop this, though I've got so much on at the minute with work and uni application I doubt it. I certianly enjoy writing from life more than writing fantasy.

I think this might mean a little more to the english folk who read it. Critique, thoughts, anything welcome.
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~emma2tone:iconemma2tone: Jan 25, 2006, 8:22:47 AM
nice piece... random subject lol bloody chav bastads... really well written tho mwah xxx

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"however many ways there may be of being alive, it is certain that there are vastly more ways of being dead"-R.Dawkins - the blind watchmaker
~gods-little-angel:icongods-little-angel: Jan 25, 2006, 3:45:40 PM
a typical english bus! hehehe stoners and chav children. i likes it
~BerkshireHunt:iconBerkshireHunt: Jan 26, 2006, 2:49:04 AM
I knew the locals would understand ;)
~vonray24:iconvonray24: Jan 26, 2006, 8:08:27 AM
damn chavs! hmm makes me wanna go shopping, not been to p'town in a while.
~BerkshireHunt:iconBerkshireHunt: Jan 27, 2006, 2:11:49 AM
Haha yeah! p'town! Its where my friends and I used to go like every night to this grotty old pub called o'connels thats closed now. *sigh* memories.
~vonray24:iconvonray24: Jan 27, 2006, 9:14:08 AM
ooo i heard of o'connels but yeah. hmm i need to go out more. oh well.
~projectilelust:iconprojectilelust: Jan 27, 2006, 5:24:46 PM
[:
you, my darling chris, are a writer.

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this was uncalled for.
~BerkshireHunt:iconBerkshireHunt: Jan 28, 2006, 4:13:52 AM
Haha thankyou! I still have a long way to go! But that means SO much! :D